Firstly, I am using the blogs new interface - and I think I like it! When I first had it thrust upon me, I was in my normal "I don't like change" mentality, but now that I have seen it and used it, I have to concede that it is probably much better. Of course that is famous last words, but all is looking good as I laboriously type this....
The reason I am writing, and so soon after my normal monthly blog, is that I watched part of a programme on the television the other night and was absolutely appalled. Let me tell you what is was about, and why I am "spitting feathers".
As my memory is so bad, I cannot actually remember the correct title of the programme, but it was something like "Pamper Parlour Mums" and it was not only about mothers who allow their children to be made up to look like little adults, but one has actually opened a beauty parlour specifically for children. All of these mothers thought it was perfectly acceptable to have their children act and look much older than their age. This rings alarm bells to me, but one mum said that all children want to copy their mothers and play with make-up. I agree entirely, except that "playing" and "being" is two different things. I can remember - just- having little bits of make-up to play with and the right royal mess that ensued. All children love getting messy and trying different things, so to be able to put on the last bit of lipstick out of your mum's discarded case was a bit of fun. And that is all it was, a bit of fun. My recollections are more like a painted doll than a smaller version of a grown up. Therein lies the problem.....
Are are children being forced to grow up too quickly? In my day (I know that makes me sound terribly old, and I am not - really!), babies were visions in pink, blue, white, lemon and pale green. They wore "baby" clothes until they were much older than the months or weeks even that we see nowadays. There was nothing around to force the child into some sort of designer wear. For the life of me, I cannot see the point of putting a baby/toddler into expensive labels that will never wear out, but will be grown out of within months. Someone who probably had more money than sense obviously started that trend. So, coming back to the original question, why do we want our children to be all grown up before their time? Is it some vanity challenge with the mothers? Maybe it is a case of "my child looks better than your child" egotistical type of thing? Whatever it is, is it harming the children? My answer to that is yes, Yes, YES!
I think it is hurting the children on two fronts. Firstly you have the age old scenario of class. It doesn't matter how well you have brought your child up, either they can be little monsters and taunt children not dressed so well, or it can be the opposite and it is themselves whom are subjected to the abuse and bullying. Anyone who is even a little bit different is often fair game. I remember a boy at my senior school who not only looked different from most of us but he had other issues too and he was taunted, jeered and bullied throughout his school life. Those who tried to stand up for him and be friends with him, found that they were ostracised and bullied in equal measure. The pressure that puts on someone (especially when you are in the teenage bracket) is immense and often the easy option is to pull back and just watch in silence. This can happen at any age but when you are very young it can have a more devastating impact on your future life, although it is often unrecognised. One little incident can cause years of anguish; is it worth it, I am not sure. Well actually, I am sure that it isn't worth it; simply put that child will grow up with expectations that may be hard to keep and then will suffer from many things including confidence and self esteem issues or loathing for the parents who put them in the position in the first place.
Secondly, and possible the worst of the scenarios, is that children who look like adults can be in danger of paedophile activity. All children are at risk from the serial offender to the opportunist, and it must be a worry to every parent to ensure their child's safety, so why deliberately put your child at risk? We complain about men (and women) who molest children but we give them a rather pathetic "get out" clause by allowing them to claim that the child "wants it". A bit like the women who is dressed somewhat inappropriately and gets attacked and the defence it that she "was asking for it dressed like that". There is no excuse for abuse, molestation or rape and they who commit those acts should be punished to the full extent of the law. However, should we be at least held accountable? I know that it shouldn't matter how a person dresses, but it does. It shouldn't matter how someone acts and behaves, but it does. We all have to accept that with some things in our lives, we have to take the high ground and not be a slave to fashion or fads. We have to stand up and do what is right, not what we think is right.
Am I right or wrong in thinking this way? I know that children all want to have the latest fashions, but these fashions should be modest and childlike. We are taking away the most precious years of a life and moulding it far too early. In my day (there I go again!) we made mud pies; now the children play on their computers. We spent a lot of time outdoors (probably to give the poor old mum's a bit of peace and quiet) but now we feel that we cannot let our children out because of the dangers or perceived dangers that lurk on every corner. Who is to blame for this? Is there more crimes against children or is it a matter of better media coverage?
So, as I see it, the buck really stops with the parents and if the parents are so irresponsible that they let their children act like adults, should we be laying down and saying "go ahead" or should we be shouting from the rooftops that it is not right?
Having written and now feel better for venting my feeling and opinions, I can see that this may well be the way to go in the future; instead of only doing one blog every month and trying to remember what has happened that is worthy of a mention, I should do them as and when I feel inspired - or angry,irritated, happy or sad. As always I welcome your comments.
Could be seeing you again soon or it might not be until later..... Whenever it is, I wish you all well over the coming days and weeks.
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