What We Can All Learn From A Murder

I wasn't sure if I was going to write about this, but the more I thought about it, the more I felt the need to put my feelings into words. It may not be easy reading for some, and there will be dissenters as well as those that agree. I'm not writing from any particular angle, and it is only my opinion.

Let me set the scene for friends and others who are in not living this side of the pond or haven't seen the news.

Sarah Everard was walking home from Clapham (in London) to Brixton  (not very far as the crow flies) on Wednesday 3rd March. She had been talking on her phone, the conversation finishing just before 9.30 pm. After that she vanished. A serving police officer was arrested the following Tuesday on suspicion of kidnap and further arrested on suspicion of murder. Sarah's body was found in a woodland in Kent.

That news alone is tragic, and the idea that someone who is meant to protect and serve the public could be capable of murder (we must remember that he is innocent until proven guilty or pleads guilty in a Court of Law), has sent shock waves through not only the Metropolitan Police but what looks like the entire country.  Unfortunately, many have joined a bandwagon that is spiralling out of control.

Politicians are demanding all sorts of things. Members of the public are demanding changes.  People out for trouble are doing their best to stir things up. Much of all this is demanding that the streets are made safer for women so they are not afraid to go out alone in the dark. 

A vigil was held which was hijacked by people with their own agenda.  Some people brought spray paint to the vigil and used it to scrawl graffiti. Who would do that? Some people wore balaclavas to the vigil. Who would do that? Some chanted at the vigil to the police (who were in attendance because we are still following the laws of lockdown and gatherings etc.) that "All coppers are b******* (also seen as ACAB or 1312). Who would do that? Words fail me at the animosity that some have for the police. Damned if they do and damned if they don't. On the back of this confrontation, one of the other emergency services union called out the police on social media saying they utterly condemned the violence meted out by the police.  Jumping on the band wagon and stabbing your fellow emergency responders in the back all in one social media post takes some gumption.  Fortunately someone deleted it but not before it had been seen and as everyone knows, mud sticks.

I am in no way denigrating the horror, sadness and fear that Sarah's murder has caused, but we have to stand back and not make knee jerk reactions.  Having a curfew for men was one. The latest is having undercover police officers in pubs and clubs to help protect women. What is either of these going to prove? As we have seen during the lockdowns over the last year, domestic abuse has risen alarmingly; if we force men into hiding (so to speak) are we simply allowing other women be at risk of harm or worse? Others closer to home - literally? 

Two things come to mind and I may well be vilified for at least one, but as we all know, there are two sides to every coin.  Whilst I agree that we do need to make the streets safer, we need to make them safer for all, not just women. Women don't have the monopoly over fear. If you ask me what can we do, I have no idea other than to give more money to the police in order for us to feel safer outside. Having said that, there has always been violence (let's start with Cain and Abel) and there probably always will be, but we also have the responsibility to take care of ourselves as well.  It never ceases to amaze me that people go out with a phone attached to their ear or their eyes glued to the screen. They are certainly not aware of their surroundings and the same principle applies when they have headphones on. (This is not a reflection on Sarah who was on her phone shortly before her abduction.) The question as to whether females should dress modestly has always been a contentious issue. It could be said that they are encouraging males by being provocative. Of course this then begs the question, if women rarely have the desire to  want to assault, sexually or otherwise, a person of the opposite sex simply because he is drunk or bare chested, then why can't males be the same? Is men's genetic makeup different from women's in the way their minds work? Females of any age can say they "really fancy him" without doing anything about it, whereas men feel that they have to be macho or assume that females "want it". No matter what my personal views are, the way females dress should bear no relation to being an easy target for males. Alcohol has often played a part in the behaviour of both young and old, male or female.  I know lots of people who are non drinkers and who can have fantastic times out with friends without waking up to vomit stained clothing, scraped knees and a massive hangover.

The question we must ask is do we need to start with the parents to ensure that all are safe on the street - whatever time of day or night, or should we be leaving it to teachers to make sure that all children know about respect and values? Or do we simply stand back and do nothing?

The choices that are made now need to be realistic and not outlandish. Those in positions of power need to ask the right questions and offer support and not demand answers. Those jumping on the bandwagon need to stand down unless they can positively help and those wanting their five minutes of fame should keep quiet and go home.

One last thing on the subject of murder. There has been a huge outpouring of grief for Sarah but in doing so it is doing a huge disservice and dishonour to all those who have died at the hands of another, and the families that are left behind to pick up the pieces.